I enjoy kicking it with you.

At 37, the world of online dating introduced me to a man 11 years my senior. He was 48, with a history of almost-ties and near-misses in love, having proposed to four different women without ever making it down the aisle. In hindsight, that should've been my cue to tread carefully, but the heart wants what it wants, and mine was curious.

We dated for nine months, a period filled with laughter, shared moments, and a comfortable ease that made me wonder where we were headed. It was a question I hesitated to ask, fearing the answer but needing the clarity. "Are we just dating casually, or is this a serious relationship?" I finally mustered the courage to ask. His response? "I enjoy kicking it with you."

At his age, I was taken aback by such a non-committal reply. It was a wake-up call, a moment of realization that perhaps I had been too passive, too willing to "go with the flow" without really considering what I wanted or needed from the relationship.

This experience taught me the importance of seeking clarity from the start, of not just floating along in the current of someone else's intentions. It was a lesson in taking responsibility for my own heart and not waiting for someone else to define the relationship's boundaries.

In the end, our journey together was a chapter in my book of life, one that taught me more about myself than I could have imagined. It was a reminder that sometimes, the most casual comments can reveal the deepest truths, and that understanding our own worth is the first step in not settling for less than we deserve.